Tuesday, December 27, 2011


Sometimes people just amaze me.  And not in a good way. 

Reading a newspost about a "school" that uses shock therapy on autistic kids.  Here's the link:  http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmotherjones.com%2Fpolitics%2F2007%2F08%2Fschool-shock%3Fpage%3D1&h=LAQEtdhgvAQEj64alY14QNGSCzx4NloA117fJRTH-qkSaBg

That's AFTER hearing about the autistic kid that got shut in a duffelbag:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/dec/27/autistic-boy-duffel-bag-kentucky

I know, I know, next to those, my adventures in "publishing" seem trivial.  But get this:  to get published, first, I have to find someone to read my work.  Easy, you think.  NOT.  So many only want agented representations, or specify "no animal dialog."  Then, I get to wait anywhere from a month to 6 months to even have them say that they want to read my story (after I've spent time and postage on a cover letter and query, plus outline).  Even if I do make that cut, they want me to send my manuscript at my own expense . . .and if they don't like it, not only will they kindly shred it for me, they won't even have the courtesy to email me and tell me "no thanks."  I'll just be kept hanging for a year or so. 

And don't even get me started on the ones who won't accept simultaneous submissions (sending to more than one publisher at once).  HUH?  You want me to hang around waiting for your sorry butts to take 6 MONTHS to read my less than 500 word children's book till you decide not to call me?  That's lost money, folks.  If you don't want to deal, get out of the trading post.

Then there's the agents, rights, royalties, etc. to think about.  My head hurts.  Here I am, brain the size of a planet (thanks, Marvin) and you basically want me to pay you to pay me?  RIIIIIGHT.  Then there are the publishers that want to know how I'll market the book THAT THEY WANT TO BUY FROM ME.  Excuse me.  You bought 90% of the rights and you STILL want ME to do the legwork?  I don't think so.  I'm making peanuts off this.  YOU market.  And if you want me to do signings, fine . . .but you're paying for the gas.

Probably just because I'm so contrary, I'm gonna keep trying.  And, in the meantime, dear friends, I will have my stories printed up in very simple format with simple illustrations so y'all can meet my flock.  I was so glad that Caitlin liked the stories I read to her, since she's about the age range I want to market to (just young enough to have her egg-buying parents read to her, but old enough to sound out some of the words by herself).  She even said that her classmates would like to hear my stories!  WOOHOO!

I was even crushed by the mailman.  We got our new copy of the rural directory today.  You know, the one that shows you all the townships and plats, plus who owns them.  I was so excited to see us in there . . .and we WEREN'T.  Harry's name was still on the map.  We didn't even make the phone number page.  Come on, we signed the papers, changed our licenses, registered to vote . . .phooey.  If they don't get it right next year, I'm gonna crawl up someone's posterior with CLEATS on.  On second thought, I'll just sic Stewie on them.  He ought to have some pretty decent spurs by next year.

One of the people who hasn't disappointed me today is my neighbor JD.  We finally got to hang out (thanks for coming over!) and I think we'll get along just fine.  He even made my German gene kick in--you know, the one that says YOU MUST FEED PEOPLE!  so I hope he'll grace our dinner table now and then.  The kids did OK today (I don't think I lost any more enamel off my teeth) and we had Grandma Martha's noodle soup for supper.  YUMMO.  I can't wait till we can make it with our own home raised chickens.  Y'all keep your fingers crossed for me when it comes killing time . . .and I'll wait till I'm having a bad day to make it easier! :D 

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