Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Well Blow Me Down

This is how I've felt the last few days going out to do chores and check for eggs.  I'm in an eccentric mood tonight, so let's have some fun. 


--The cold frames on the windy side of the house rise up and smack the windows, scaring the bejeebers out of you.

--The phrase "hold your horses" means that you get a grip on their necks to keep you from blowing away in a stray gust.

--You wonder how your chickens all developed the frizzle gene overnight
I can't wait to check out their site in depth!

but then you realize that it's just because those silly cluckers are facing in the opposite direction of the wind.

--You tie your children to trees just to see how high they can "kite" in the gusts (heehee, just kidding on this one, folks!)

--You seriously think of making your vehicle a hybrid by adding a sail to the top because, with winds this high, you'd probably be going 90 miles an hour without using gas.  Of course, you'd end up in Canada before you knew it, but that's a minor detail.

--You have to hang on to your hat when you're outdoors because you don't want to chase it into the next county.

--You actually hope someone farts because it might "break wind."  (Extra credit if YOU try to fart.)

--You're thankful that you didn't have to live through the Dust Bowl.  Then you go to pick up a freshly washed dish and find dust in your bowl. 

--You intentionally move 60 miles away from Wichita and suddenly find that the whole city has blown into your backyard.  (Good one, Scott!)

--You have to move half a round bale of hay because the wind flapping the tarp around made half of the dang thing fall off.  And JOY, you have to fork it upwind.

--You wish that whoever it is down South that left their fans on would kindly turn them off.  That, or you wish that dang butterfly in Japan would quit flapping around.  (Chaos theory--one butterfly flapping can cause a tsunami halfway across the world)

--You don't whistle because the wind is doing plenty of that all by itself without you wrinkling up your face.  And besides, that might add velocity to the existing wind.  No thanks.

--You wonder why you didn't set up one of those windmills to generate electricity.  You could probably get enough electricity in one week like this to last you for a year.  Of course, if you set it up now, it would probably fall over, wreck your fence, let your horses out . . .you get the picture.

OK, now here's the challenge.  If you have read this far (and I hope you have), it's YOUR turn.  Please comment with your own response.  (you may have to sign up for Google, but it's free and they don't spam you.)  I've given you some giggles, so I want some too!



  1. You keep hearing a whistling noise and realize it is the wind blowing through your hoop earrings.

    The Easter eggs you have filled with dirt so they don't blow out of the basket, (that Arthur hasn't seen yet) blow out of the basket and across the yard.

  2. The reason for so much wind in Kansas...either Nebraska sucks or Oklahoma blows. (or the other way around, depending on wind direction)